Mean Girls Generation

karma

Confession time: I used to be a bitch. Call it a phase, teenage angst or just plain jealousy; I was vicious, angry and highly volatile. From peers to teachers, people I knew to people I didn’t, few were spared from a vindictive sneer or malicious comment. Picking people apart and tearing them down, whether to their face or behind their back, made up the majority of conversation. It was funny, right? Wrong. And funnily enough all that negativity failed to cover up the hatred I felt for myself.

Before you roll your eyes, this isn’t a heart wrenching story of redemption nor is it a tragic recount of my life and consequent personal growth (fortunately for you) but to summarise, I’m no longer a complete and utter knob most of the time.

As unfortunate as it is, I left school four years ago and in doing so assumed I’d left the idiocy and immaturity behind; I should be so lucky. From the pathetic rants at work to jeers in the street, it would appear that not everyone got the memo that spending less time concerning yourself with what others are doing and more time on your own life is not only beneficial to you but to those unfortunate enough to cross your path.

“Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” - Mean Girls

We’ve all seen the film and if you’re anything like me you can quote it too but for all its popularity it seems the underlying message got lost somewhere. I read an article in Grazia magazine this week that left me quite frankly, disgusted. In her weekly column ‘Fiona’s views on the news’, Fiona McIntosh shares her views on a topical issue in an informative yet amusing way. Usually. Don’t get me wrong, I agree that Americans penchant for being able to sue everyone for anything is unnecessary and this apparent new ability to sue for ‘outward appearance’ discrimination borders on ridiculous; as Fiona says, attractiveness is subjective after all. However, my issue isn’t with the ‘law’ and whether or not it is or isn’t a good idea, it’s with Fiona’s views on why she doesn’t agree with it.


‘How can you compare bona-fide racial discrimination to big bottom prejudice? It’s like comparing hurt feelings to verbal abuse’ - Fiona McIntosh


I don’t know where to start with this. According to Fiona, it’s not okay to discriminate when it comes to things that can’t be altered, such as race, yet seemingly anything that can be altered is free game. Three guesses as to what should be picked apart: ’22-stone muffin eaters’ because ‘you can control the size of your bottom, you can’t control your race’. As someone who is not only the owner of a big bottom but is also a racial minority, I can assure you abuse is distressing regardless of the form of hatred. More importantly, as a grown woman who by writing a column in a popular magazine has a certain level of responsibility, why is it so hilarious to be a miserable bitch? Now I’m not saying we should all make cakes out of rainbows and smiles, by all means have a giggle over the slightly unhinged people who seem to infiltrate the bus station or share a wince over those who think it’s acceptable to wear Crocs (I’m looking at you, mother) but bullying in any form is not okay.

Inequality is strife, women are still seen as lesser than men, racial minorities are still underrepresented, homophobia and transphobia is an ever present issue and what’s worse is rather than focus of uniting against all forms of hatred, we turn against each other. When it comes to bullying or being bullied, ask yourself ‘why does it matter to me?’ why does someone who’s overweight matter to you? What effect does it have on your life? And don’t give me the bullshit about health, either in terms of caring about theirs or its supposed cost to you. On the other hand, why does it matter to you what some passer by thinks? Don’t give them the satisfaction of putting you down, you don’t know them but more importantly they don’t know you.

Too many people are unhappy, depressed or even suicidal because of what others think or say about them. So the next time you find yourself about to tear someone else down, stop and have a bit of common decency because when it comes down to it, we’re all human and we deserve a bit of fucking respect.

21 comments:

  1. Very nice text, very nice person. Nothing else to say except to continue your blog very interesting .


    Excuse me if there are mistakes I am French x)

    Anaïs ♥

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  2. I F'N LOVE this post.. I only wish to find the actual article to read!!
    Suz{new follower}
    http://destinationsuz.blogspot.com/

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  3. This is excellent! So articulate and I couldn't have put it better myself.

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  4. Very well written, I know how angry you were at her article, perhaps you should send this post to the magazine.

    Love reading your blog

    XX

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  5. So very true. I have to admit, I do catch myself occasionally commenting about others. And two seconds later I feel bad, because it was completely unnecessary.

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  6. Amazing post, you are absolutely right,everyone deserves respect and the ability to go about their personal business without abuse. Years ago a lad came up to me in a bar and said 'For a fat girl, you don't sweat a lot' and then carried on talking to me like I was supposed to accept what he said and not be offended. Its well over 13 years since that was said and I still remember it now. It takes so much effort to be nasty than nice, the world needs to give each other a break. xx

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  7. This was one of the most amazing and right on posts i've ever read. I often wonder myself why people feel the need and think they have the right to comment on other people.
    I used to get so down on what other people said to me but as i've gotten older i've realised that these people who taunt others are often deeply unhappy in themselves and maybe we should feel sorry for them because they are sad people who think inflicting mental abuse on other people will make them a better person. Unfortunately it doesn't.

    xx

    http://wearenouvellevague.blogspot.com/

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  8. OH MY EFFING GODDDD. Could NOT agree more! Fantastic post hun - you totally hit the nail on the head!

    Lauren
    alittlelessoflauren.blogspot.com

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  9. Great post, I completely agree! Life's too short to be mean :)
    x

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  10. I really agree with you here. I used to be a bit judgemental and thoughtless like that too but with age I've grown out of it, thankfully! I cant stand the way people treat others the majority of the time, It's so frustrating. And for someone to say that one person's feelings are worth more than anothers is so wrong. Is there an online version of this article available? I'd like to read the rest of it.
    Like somone else has already sugested above I definitely think you should send this post to the magazine.
    New follower here by the way, love reading your blog :)

    Abigail xx

    http://biiicks.blogspot.com/

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  11. It really upsets me when women bring other women down but I have caught myself doing it. Why do we feel the need to bring other people down? surely we would all feel better if we supported each other...
    I think you should send this to Grazia xx

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  12. I think you should send them this, it is fantastic!

    Maria xxx

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  13. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. I am so glad that you took the time to write down your thoughts and feelings concerning the topic. You are right about what you say, alot of people feel depressed and suicidal just because of this 'ONE person'. Imagine bullying people and they end up hurting them self and they could even take their own life just because this one little things that other people said. How will they end up sleeping at night? Great post and well written :)

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  14. Love this post! And I'm guessing most readers would MUCH rather hear an opinion like yours, than one where they are marginalized bc they have a muffin top or whatever.

    I remember pretty distinctly being a bully to a girl when I was around 10. She was the only other fat girl in the class, and I made sure to go along with the other girls in class in making fun of here because I was so aware that she could have been me. I wanted to make sure I stayed with the majority. It still gives me the creeps to think I bullied someone else. I'm just glad that, like you, I learned to grow out of doing that. Unfortunately, not everyone else does that.

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  15. This was a fantastic post, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
    You write so well!
    http://oliviadollydaydream.blogspot.com/

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  16. Such a well-written post, and couldn't agree more. I know what you mean about being all rainbows and smiles all the time but I find myself so often thinking 'why can't we all just be nice to each other?' It's ridiculous to say that the things you are born with are immune from discrimination but everything else is just fair game; and I hate seeing female on female bashing - as someone who has been called fat by other girls before it is really not nice and it shouldn't happen.
    xxx

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  17. you're so lovely, so so so lovely!
    hugs from milan
    serena

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  18. That 'Mean Girls' quote is so true, brilliant post :)

    Day By Diva
    Day By Diva

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  19. this is such a good piece/blog post/rant haha :) you write so well you should work for a magazine or something - send this in somewhere :)

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Hi lovely!

Thank you for taking the time to comment :)

xx